Its difficult when you feel like you are revisiting your life, knowingly unknowingly you start comparing. What you were and who you are now. And what is the real you, or what has changed you. This last weekend was a sort of a revelation. I don’t know why what or how, but it made me realise that I have made my peace with the place I spend two years in.
I was never one of those who are just instantly liked, I have through life battled with extremes. I have had either people love me or hate me. It is difficult for people to be absolutely neutral with me I think. But I like that now. Sometimes I failed to understand. Now I know why. I think its the lack of greys in me. I live in the extremes, always have. But thats just the way I like it.
And I think that is the reason I have made my peace because I earned so much from the place because of the people that loved me. Those who still stand by me even though they are far away in distance. I had been told long ago as a child, its most important in life to earn people. And thats what I most earned at MICA. With all the anger I had when I left, cause of being judged or having to deal with things I didn’t want to. But somehow when you are there you never see the beauty in small things. I am still not sentimental enough to cry about MICA. I never will be, but I think I can smile broadly enough about it. I can say that I miss being there between my people who cocooned me from what could have been a lot worse.
And like a friend said to me, ‘you have no idea how many people here love you and say that’ … I think I believe it now.
And I just want to hug everyone who made MICA for me. And they each know who they are.
Maybe this is a part of all that growing up everyone keeps talking about.