So well, since its been sometime since I posted I decided to start with something I have been thinking about for a long time now. And I think its jealousy. Yup weird I know, but true. I think I am jealous a LOT, like more than an average person.
I am jealous cause a friend I love writes better than me, or I am jealous that someone has more blog followers, I am jealous if someone’s work is better appreciated. I am jealous if someone looks better. So half the day I am plain and simple jealous. But I realise that this sorta keeps me competitive. I am not dramatic enough to ‘conspire’ against people who I am jealous of (k serials would have you believe that’s the only way) I instead strive harder to do better. It can be very stupid at times. I end up doing long hrs at work. Doubling up work for self, sometimes being really bogged down. But it keeps me going nonetheless. Through my years of study I think I wasn’t an academic star because I was not jealous of those who were good at their studies. Its a weird thing to realise that you are better at something because you are jealous. Most people would mark it as being competitive.
I don’t know if I would call it being competitive. I think I am ok being jealous. But sometimes I think I push myself for that a bit too much. But that’s just me. Sometimes I can be evil jealous like get angry with a boyfriend cause of his ex, or angry with a friend cause they give another more attention. Is that really the two sides to a coin. Being possessive about people and being insanely jealous. I feel like I don’t know myself.
Just the other day I was jealous cause someone could save more money. But it makes me wonder is jealousy an unhealthy emotion. Or is it healthy and unhealthy depending on situations? Or am I like a friend indicated, stuck in some sorta quarterlife crisis. Sigh! I wonder where are all the answers, there are just too many questions for sure.


4 thoughts on “Jealousy

  1. This is a great post. I like your honesty. It’s not everyday that you come across someone who is this real with what she recognizes as a negative characteristic of hers and actually admit it. But hey, as long as jealousy keeps you inspired to aim higher, then by all means be be jealous. 🙂

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